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Genesis 1 - Boreded Ceiling Cat makinkgz Urf n stuffs
1 Oh hai. In teh beginnin Ceiling Cat maded teh skiez An da Urfs, but he did not eated dem.
2 Da Urfs no had shapez An haded dark face, An Ceiling Cat rode invisible bike over teh waterz.
3 At start, no has lyte. An Ceiling Cat sayz, i can haz lite? An lite wuz.4 An Ceiling Cat sawed teh lite, to seez stuffs, An splitted teh lite from dark but taht wuz ok cuz kittehs can see in teh dark An not tripz over nethin.5 An Ceiling Cat sayed light Day An dark no Day. It were FURST!!!1
6 An Ceiling Cat sayed, im in ur waterz makin a ceiling. But he no yet make a ur. An he maded a hole in teh Ceiling.7 An Ceiling Cat doed teh skiez with waterz down An waterz up. It happen.8 An Ceiling Cat sayed, i can has teh firmmint wich iz funny bibel naim 4 ceiling, so wuz teh twoth day.
9 An Ceiling Cat gotted all teh waterz in ur base, An Ceiling Cat hadz dry placez cuz kittehs DO NOT WANT get wet.10 An Ceiling Cat called no waterz urth and waters oshun. Iz good.
11 An Ceiling Cat sayed, DO WANT grass! so tehr wuz seedz An stufs, An fruitzors An vegbatels. An a Corm. It happen.12 An Ceiling Cat sawed that weedz ish good, so, letz there be weedz.13 An so teh threeth day jazzhands.
14 An Ceiling Cat sayed, i can has lightz in the skiez for splittin day An no day.15 It happen, lights everwear, like christmass, srsly.16 An Ceiling Cat doeth two grate lightz, teh most big for day, teh other for no day.17 An Ceiling Cat screw tehm on skiez, with big nails An stuff, to lite teh Urfs.18 An tehy rulez day An night. Ceiling Cat sawed. Iz good.19 An so teh furth day w00t.
20 An Ceiling Cat sayed, waterz bring me phishes, An burds, so kittehs can eat dem. But Ceiling Cat no eated dem.21 An Ceiling Cat maed big fishies An see monstrs, which wuz like big cows, except they no mood, An other stuffs dat mooves, An Ceiling Cat sawed iz good.22 An Ceiling Cat sed O hai, make bebehs kthx. An dont worry i wont watch u secksy, i not that kynd uf kitteh.23 An so teh...fith day. Ceiling Cat taek a wile 2 cawnt.
24 An Ceiling Cat sayed, i can has MOAR living stuff, mooes, An creepie tings, An otehr aminals. It happen so tehre.25 An Ceiling Cat doed moar living stuff, mooes, An creepies, An otehr animuls, An did not eated tehm.
26 An Ceiling Cat sayed, letz us do peeps like uz, becuz we ish teh qte, An let min p0wnz0r becuz tehy has can openers.
27 So Ceiling Cat createded teh peeps taht waz like him, can has can openers he maed tehm, min An womin wuz maeded, but he did not eated tehm.
28 An Ceiling Cat sed them O hai maek bebehs kthx, An p0wn teh waterz, no waterz An teh firmmint, An evry stufs.
29 An Ceiling Cat sayed, Beholdt, the Urfs, I has it, An I has not eated it.30 For evry createded stufs tehre are the fuudz, to the burdies, teh creepiez, An teh mooes, so tehre. It happen. Iz good.
31 An Ceiling Cat sayed, Beholdt, teh good enouf for releaze as version 0.8a. kthxbai.
Book of tEh revelayshunz 2
In ur church, writin lett0rz 2 Ephesus
1 4m Baby Jesus, 2 teh doodz in Ephesus: Theez r teh wurdz of teh dood wif teh 7 cookies and the bukkitz and stuff:
2 You been doin good, thx. You hates bad doodz, an you figgered out who wuz a lyin faker. Good job.3 You been hangin in therr for me an yr not even a little bit tired. Kthx!4 Anywayz, you sukkaz, cuz you forgotz what you wuz doin b4.5 Remember how awsum you wuz? Say sorry and do that old stuff you did before. Otherwise I be stealin yr bukkit.6 Oh, hey, you hate teh Nicolaitans? Me too, so thatz cool.7 If you gotz earz, listen up to what I sez. If you duz good, you can has a cookie from teh Life Tree in teh garden of teh Ceiling Cat. Kthxbye.
In ur church, writin lett0rz 2 Smyrna
8 4m Baby Jesus, 2 teh doodz in Smyrna: Theez r teh wurdz of teh dood who iz first an last an can be a zomby an stuff:
9 Yr poor. Sry. But, hey, yr rich! Also, I no some doodz be lyin about bein Jewish. Ya rly, they r a synagogue of Satin. Srsly.10 Bad stuff is comin, but don be skeerd. You can go to jail, mebbe for 10 dayz. Be good, even if you dies, and you can has a cookie of life.11 If you gotz earz, listen up to what I sez. If you duz good, deth wont hurt. Srsly. Kthxbye.
In ur church, writin lett0rz 2 Permagum
12 4m Baby Jesus, 2 teh doodz in Pergamum: Theez r teh wurdz of teh dood wif teh dubble-sharp sword:
13 Yr livin in Satan's naybrhood. But, yr still good. You likeded me, even when they burninated my friend Antipas. So, thatz awsum, thx.14 Anywayz, you sux0rz, cuz some of you be doin bad stuff. Some of you liek Balaam. He sux0rz cuz he showed Balak how to be tricksy and get teh Israelites to be bad by eatin bad cookies an by hasin buttsecks!15 Also, some of you liek teh Nicolaitans, who totally sux an I hatez0rz.16 So, quit it! Or else I be comin to fight em wif my mouf sword. Grrr!17 If you gotz earz, listen up to what I sez. If you duz good, you can has Ceiling Cat's cookie. Also, a white rock wif sum riting on it. Kthxbye.
In ur church, writin lett0rz 2 Tyrabankz
18 4m Baby Jesus, 2 teh doodz in Thyatira: Theez r teh wurdz of Baby Jesus wif fire eyez an metal feetz an stuff:
19 Yr doin gret, even moar better than b4. Kthx. 20 Anywayz, you sux0rz, cuz you think Jezebel iz leet. She be a liar an trickses doodz into hasin buttsecks wif her and eatin bad cookies!21 I sed to her to quit it, but she wont. 22 So, Im gonna smack her down an also doodz what has buttsecks wif her. Unless they sez sorry.23 Also, Im killin her kiddiez. Then everwun will no Im in heaven watchin yr hartz an mindz an repayin yr deedz too. 24 All you doodz in Thyatira who hatez Jezebel an dont no Satan's sekrits, yr gret, dont worry, kthx.25 Just keep hangin on til I get therr.26 If you duz good an what I sez, you can has authoriTAH! 27 "He will pwn them wif hiz iron stick an smash them liek potteriez." Just liek I gotz authoritie from my Dadz, teh Ceiling Cat.
28 Also, you can has a morning cookie.29 If you gotz earz, listen up to what I sez. Kthxbye.
The History of LOLcats
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Teh REAL LIFE LOLcat
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urr jæja hér kemur ein
